The Ten: College Football

By Marshall Weber 

10. Missouri: “Gravel Pit”

It’s not 36 Chambers-good, but it’s the next best thing.

Mizzou’s double overtime loss to South Carolina greatly diminished their chances for a Sugar Bowl bid. The Tigers still have to play Ole Miss and Texas A&M until their inevitable matchup against Alabama in the SEC championship. If Mizzou win the Ole Miss and A&M games, it’ll set the stage for a very gnarly SEC title game. 

9. Texas A&M: “C.R.E.A.M”

Cash Rules Everything Around Me (Cream…Get The Money) Dolla Dolla Bills y’all---Johnny in a nutshell.

It’s becoming clear to me that JFF will win his second Heisman, joining Archie Griffith in the illustrious (soon to be two person) duel Heisman winner club. The funniest thing about Johnny is despite being one the most exciting college players of this era, JFF didn’t even make it a BCS game, let alone a National Championship. But The Cotton Bowl should be a lovely coda to an absolutely brilliant career.

8. Clemson: “7^th Chamber”

Just a blip on the radar thanks to Famous Jameis, but the Tigers will still very likely be partying with Will Smith in Miami for the Orange Bowl.

7. Oklahoma State: “Da Mystery of Chessboxin’ ”

Who said Texas can’t control the read option? Oh, everyone. Regardless, Oklahoma State looked like the team that was picked to win the conference…how did this team lose to West Virginia??

Regardless, they still control their own destiny and could take the conference back with a win in Stillwater this Saturday.

6. Auburn: “Method Man”

The nearly intercepted/tipped touchdown catch is easily one of the wildest and luckiest plays in college football history, but sometimes luck rewards the deserving. If had a vote, my coach of the year would be Gus Malzahn. Malzahn, who took Auburn from 3-9 to lighting up the SEC with his run offense, is a true Method Man.

Bonus points for Gus saying “It was a Waffle House night” after the incredible victory Saturday.

5. Oregon: “Tearz”

Same story, different year. Not unlike 2012, Oregon will likely finish this season rolling on cylinders. The Stanford-hiccup has prevented a very, very good ball club, from a dream matchup against Bama in a National Title game.

They’ll have to settle for the ‘other’ game in Pasadena and bullying Ohio State.

4.  Ohio State: “Can It All Be So Simple”

The BCS won’t end up favoring the Bucs and maybe it shouldn’t…much to the dismay of Urban. They are here solely because they’re undefeated. My opinion on them almost turned Saturday when I watched them play the first quarter and a half, but then the rest of the game happened.

The Big 10 is a very, very, weak conference and with the exception of OSU, has been for nearly ten years now. Maybe in the post-BCS era next year, Ohio State will be able to convince all the skeptics. But it’s not going to happen this year.

3. Baylor: “Bring Da Rukus”

Blow spots like Waco, Texas.

If Baylor played Ohio State right now, it would be similar to that of the Tech game Saturday night. The Buckeyes would probably score a lot, but they Bears would still find a way to demolish them. Waco’s praying harder than it ever has (a mind boggling thought) for FSU or Bama to slip up…I mean if Bama plays Auburn or Missouri like Mississippi State, the Big 12 could see its first team in the National Championship since Texas in 2010.

2. Florida State: “Protect Ya Neck”

The Noles are coasting right now and barring a massive upset from Florida in a couple of weeks, FSU will be Pasadena for the last game of season. They’re arguably more of a shoe-in than Alabama, as the Tide still have to play Auburn in the most important Iron Bowl in recent memory…sorry Cam.  

1.    Alabama: “Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nothing to F’ With”:

The Tide is actually a lot like the Wu-Tang clan, as one person does not define them. Alabama’s greatness will always be a group effort, like an expensive watch that’s intricately put together and depends on each tiny piece to make an impressive whole.

But even the Tide is allowed a ‘sloppy one’ now and then, but they gave Mississippi State way too many chances Saturday night. If Bama plays like this against Auburn or in the SEC Championship, the Tide could miss their first BCS title game since 2011.

Bonus Points: DUKE, USC’s comeback, not being a Georgia fan, Kansas’ first Big 12 win since 2010, #WeWantBama,

Conference Tally: SEC (4), ACC (2), Big 12 (2), PAC-12 (1), B1G (1)