Following the Freshmen Hype Week One: Wiggity Wiggity Whack (Plus GIFs!!!)

By Marshall Weber

I haven't been this excited for college basketball this early in the season in a long time. I usually gain interest somewhere around there time when I deposit money from Wells Fargo and put in $50 for a March Madness bracket. Maybe it’s because my football teams are having Bozo seasons, but maybe college basketball is just that good this year.

So where do the Big 3 Freshmen stand after week one?...

1. Julius Randle: Gotta love a guy who muscles rebounds for his team and Randle is averaging an absurd 13.8 RPG. Alongside getting more boards than heavy metal, he's also averaging a little more than 20 points per game. The only complaint I have about Randle is that he doesn’t have a weird intangible like John Wall, Nerlens Noel, or Anthony Davis did. I guess I’ll just have to settle with him being an amazing basketball player.

2. Jabari Parker: Parker may be the most versatile of the three and exudes leadership that is unheard of for a freshman. He’s also averaging the most points of the three (22.4). Parker’s best play so far was a Space Ghost inspired coast-to-coast dunk that gave Duke a 7 point lead late in the second half and silenced a pesky East Carolina team.

3. Andrew Wiggins: I probably enjoy watching Wiggs more than the other two. He’s the most explosive player of the three and his two-handed dunk in the Duke game was sexier than anything Parker and Randle have done as of yet. That being said, Wiggins is still underperforming. He also cut off his awesome hair. Lame.