Marsh Watches a 90s Movie: Houseguest

There are movies, and there are films. 1995's Houseguest without a doubt applies to the latter. 

The Academy Awards is infamously known for snubbing some of the greatest men and women of film. Stanley Kurbick, who directed classics such as The Shining, 2001, and A Clockwork Orange never won any gold statues. It took them almost forty years to give a Martin Scorsese film 'Best Picture'. The same goes for Sinbad. Braveheart may have won all the major awards of 1995, but there is no doubt that this Sinbad classic was the real prize of that year. 

Sinbad plays Kevin Franklin, who, as a boy growing up in inner-city Pittsburgh, dreamed of driving a Porsche and living a lavish lifestyle.  But these dreams don't quite come true for Franklin as he dabbles in and out of 'get rich quick' schemes and drives a less lavish MG Midget. 

Franklin hits an all time low when he incurs a $50,000 debt with a Pittsburgh crime family. Houseguest, like any true, great 'PG' 90's movie, blends wacky and good-time comedy with the dark human stories of our world. And for some reason always includes incompetent, cartoonish mobsters. 

As Franklin tries to flee Pittsburgh and avoid the mobsters, he stumbles across Gary Young, played by the late Phil Hartman, and his family at the airport who are waiting for Young's old camp friend who is apparently and conveniently a dead-ringer for the 6'5" Sinbad. Despite having a good heart and knowing the potential, even murderous, danger he's putting this random and innocent family in, Franklin decides to pose as Young's childhood friend and be the family's...you guessed it...houseguest for the weekend. But despite now being 'safe' from the mob, Franklin faces his toughest challenge yet...the suburbs of Pittsburgh.

The details behind Franklin's new 'identity' of Derek Bond is the great mystery of the first half hour and would even make Alfred Hitchcock proud. While bumping shoulders with the elites of Pittsburgh at a house party, Franklin comes to learn that Derek Bond is a renowned oral surgeon. And get this...Franklin knows nothing about dentistry! Him and Jon Snow would be great pals. 

In addition to dentistry and the dynamics and workings of elite Pittsburgh, Franklin knows nothing about wine...where as the man whom he's pretending to be is an expert. Franklin is thankfully able to avoid this conundrum as he uses his 'street smarts' to fool the posh crowd into mistaking his ignorance towards fine wine for satirical irony. Thanks to Franklin's 'good times' attitude, the party erupts into an all night wine-induced rager filled with odd sexual advances and bad 'white dancing'. 

Franklin also develops a strong bond with Young's kids. Chauncey Leopardi, 90s superstar and 'Squints' from The Sandlot, has big dreams of playing in the NBA. But there's just one problem...he's not any good. But Franklin comes to the rescue and gives him pointers on his hoops game. The women are also written really well. The oldest daughter is a goth/punk-hybrid rebel and politically conscious high school student. Franklin's closest bond though is with Sarah, who is around seven and the epitome of the 90s little sister as she's not only super adorable but also a sneaky and sassy little bitch. 

One of the biggest plot twists in this film, or perhaps any, is that Derek Bond is a strict vegan whereas Franklin loves McDonalds just as much as he loves putting an innocent family in danger. A glorious, and all too brief montage, occurs when Franklin finally gets to have red meat again...my personal favorite moment. 

But everyone's world is turned upside down when the mobsters catch up to Franklin as he's running in a charity 5K for Sarah's school. Thankfully, Franklin is able to protect himself and the Young family by giving the mobsters a ticket to appear on a 'money spin' game show, which has a top prize of one million dollars. The biggest victory however, is the Young family's ability to not only forgive Franklin, but to keep them in their lives. We also get a rather underwhelming reveal of the real Derek Bond...spoiler....he's not that great. 

The film fast-forwards to Christmas time and Franklin's lifelong goal to overcome the hardships of urban life is finally achieved as we see him pull up in a...BRAND NEW RED PORSCHE! Franklin achieves this great wealth by writing the New York Times Bestseller, "Handbook for Houseguests"...which has been sold out a Barnes and Noble "for weeks". 

At the end of the film, the party gathers around the television as the mobsters make an attempt to win the million dollar prize. Because as we all know, the smartest thing a group of Mafiosos can do is go on a game show and try to win vast sums of money. 

In what was perhaps Chris Nolan's inspiration for the cliffhanger in Inception, we believe the mobsters have won the million dollar prize. Franklin is heartbroken. But then gravity, the greatest hero of the movie, teases us and eventually takes effect and the ball drops back to a $5,000 prize...Franklin's original debt to the mobsters before it ballooned to 50k. Call me crazy, but I think this was done intentionally by the filmmakers. 

The film ends with Franklin and Young's hilarious parodies of Christmas tunes...my favorite being their rendition of "Deck the Halls". 

Franklin sings:

Fill the grill with fatty meat 

Put it on the grill 

and eat eat eat 

In the mid 1990s, Sinbad pulled a John Cazale as he consecutively starred in classics such as First Kid, Houseguest, Jingle All The Way, The Cherokee Kid and Good Burger. 

The only bad part about Houseguest is that it reminded me of the greatness lost, but left me hopeful for Sinbad return. 

Two thumbs up.