New Rankings: The King is Dead.

Brownie's Real Top Ten. 

Jesse! We're back!!! (cue music) 

1. Oregon – The Flying V inherits the number one spot after Bama was stunned at home by my least favorite franchise in all of sports. Louie has stepped up all season long and after Saturday he has joined the elite ranks of Huey and Dewey. They aren’t done being tested though so don’t be surprised if they drop one or two.

2. K-State – I’m sorry but I just simply don’t believe that they are the best team in the country. After watching them with my own eyes I saw a very beatable team. Klein is one tough motherfucker (well… mothercuddler) and they are legit, but I just don’t believe in them. I wouldn’t say that TCU beat themselves, but I wouldn’t say that K-State beat them either. TCU just kind of lost. This is at least a one-loss team. But still, props to them for winning in an absolutely brutal environment on Saturday.

3. Bama – Saturday was a fluke. If they played that game 100 times they would win 95.

4. Ohio State – This one is for Steen.

5. Notre Dame – I’m just kind of assuming that they are gonna lose to USC.

6. LSU – still think they are overrated but realistically there are only 3 or 4 elite teams this year.

7. UGA – I really, really want the Dawgs to win the SEC east.

8. Clemson – I think people are writing them off way too early. They have an explosive offense and are soaring below the radar in a very, very weak conference.

9. FSU – two ACC teams in the top 10? This must be a mistake.

10. ….a&m – I hate them so much, but even I am not too misguided to leave them out of the top 10 after Saturday. Johnny Football is the Sanjaya of NCAA football, and there is a not-so-small part of me that hopes he gets hit by a train (and lives). Also you may notice that Florida is not in the top 10. That’s because I am counting their bed-shitting performance on Saturday as a loss.

Heisman!

(Louis) CK – Still his to lose.

Manti Teo – He’s one of the best defensive players to come through college football in a long time. He does everything and he plays the game right, a true game-changer. He almost makes me not despise ND. Almost.

Everyone else.

Marsh's Rankings. 

1. Oregon-Haven't seen a Ducks team this strong since the '93 Junior Goodwill games when they beat Iceland in a shootout. 

2. KSU-If he wins the Heisman, Collin Klein get his first ever blow job. 

I don't blow leads...I just blow loads

3. Lou Holtz's Irish-Granted, the sweet man may not have many years left to cherish a good Notre Dame team

4. Alabama-Pulled a Kurt Cobain and died as the peaked. RIP Kurt. DRIP Bama. 

5. Ohio State Zach Fucking Steen. 

6. Georgia-Haven't seen this many happy Dogs since Perrottis agreed to cater the AD PI formal. 

7. LSU-Honey Badger will be playing for the Washington Hukies next year, but don't worry Les Miles will find plenty of other fine gentlemen who can fill up the Louisiana state prison system

8. Clemson-Despite looking like an 8 year old boy with autism, Dabo's turning out to be a pretty damn good coach. 

9. Texas A&M-Haven't seen A&M this happy since Rick Perry was spotted on campus eating Chik-Fila-A and beating up a homeless guy with huge sack of money. 

10- FSU-I agree with Brownie. FSU should be the only team from Florida in a Top Ten ranking.

Heisman  

Collin Klein-Right now, it's his trophy to lose. And his BJ to get: :)

Teo-Collin Klein loses a game, and we might have my favorite Heisman winner ever 

Johnny Football's Halloween costume-Seem like a classy one there, John.