Game of Thrones: The Wedding Hangover

Last night gave a whole new meaning to 'dick in a box'...am I right? As much as I love the penultimate episodes to each season, it's typically the finales I enjoy the most in the Game of Thrones arsenal and last night was no different. The finale was a perfect tease for next season and once again made us dread we have to wait three hundred days before we see these characters again.

After a (pretty much) season long mystery as to who Theon's torturer is, we found out last night that it's Ramsey Snow, bastard son of Rooce Bolton, betrayer/fuck face of Robb Stark. Ramsey, being the sweetheart he is, sent Theon's "favorite toy" in a box to his father and sister. 

With this is in mind...Balon Greyjoy won't be winning any father of the year awards anytime soon. Last night he made Tywin Lannister look like Danny Tanner with the way he mocked and shrugged off his son losing his man part. Despite betraying the Starks, you actually feel bad for Theon. As I've stated before, one of the themes this season was the father/son relationship and the son (or daughter) not being able to fulfill their father's expectations. Theon should've just stuck by the Starks instead of trying to win his father's approval, the same father who gave him away to the Starks when he was a little boy. 

However, this set up an awesome storyline with Theon's sister, Asha. I'm not gonna lie...I got some goosebumps as she loaded up "the fastest ship" with "the dealiest men" on her own personal vendetta to go retrieve her brother. Despite letting her brother feel her up last season, Asha might very well become one of my favorite characters next season. Ramsey Snow is fucked. 

Asha, Dany, and to a certain degree Arya's scenes last night were the epitome of a Game of Thrones finale. With drums triumphantly beating in the background, your mind and body are itching for the next season. 

"Not funny."-Theon Greyjoy

Jon Snow may truly know nothing. Of course the woman whose sexy talk is about cutting off his "pretty cock and wearing it around [her] neck" is gonna turn out to be crazy. Last week, Jon Snow proved his alliance with the North and the Night's Watch and left Ygritte's ass behind. Instead of tossing out all of his Crow clothes out a window in Castle Black or any other form of public humiliation, Ygritte shot Jon Snow with three arrows...nearly killing him. Seems fair, right? Maybe redheads truly don't have souls. 

Across the narrow sea in Essos, Dany is once again proving herself to be larger than life. To paraphrase Batman Begins, The Mother or Mhysa of Dragons has made herself out to be more than just a woman  and has become a symbol for the people to believe in. With this kind of faith she's instilled in her people as well as the three most powerful weapons in all the world, Dany's quest to retake the Iron Throne is not only becoming more promising...it's almost certain. 

But does that really matter? What most viewers, including myself, have forgotten is that the true threat lies North of the Wall. The Whitewalkers have been an enjoyable little tease throughout the series so far, but as we move deeper into the story they will be a legitimate threat to all the Kingdoms. Thus they may have to put their war aside and unite to fight against the threat that wants to kill them all. 

The Stannis storyline isn't one of my favorites, but it's proving to be a very important one. Also like I've said before, the leeches,  listed in the order of Robb Stark, Balon Greyjoy, and Joffrey Baratheon is an obvious foreshadowing and has proven to be right so far. So I'm going stick by that and put faith in Balon Greyjoy dying early in Season 4. He's a widely unloved character, and not in a Joffrey way, so his loss will bring nothing but joy to the audience. We love to hate Joff, so his loss will sting a bit...but as for Balon...not so much. 

Arya's real wrath has officially begun. Her story has always been my favorite, but now shit is about to get real. While making their escape from The Twins, the Hound and Arya overhear a few men by campfire bragging about killing Robb and Cat. Upon hearing this Arya gets a look in her eye unlike we've ever seen in her. Sure, Arya has always proven herself to be brave...but last night she proved she's no longer a little girl as she brutally stabbed one of the Red Wedding participants to death. The Hound quickly comes to her side and kills the other men and tells Arya "Next time you're gonna do something like this...tell me first". Boom. A dynamic duo is born. She also rubs the coin Jaqen gave her and recites "valar morghulis", which may signal Jaqen's return. So we may actually see a dynamic threesome. 

The Hound is one of a few characters who have had an awesome transition during the series. But no transition has been as powerful as Jaime Lannister. In season one he was like the fucked up version of Prince Charming and he made you hate him for the way he treated Ned Stark. So it was quite surprising that Jamie was the unlikely hero and one of the most enjoyable parts of season three. The loss of his sword-hand cemented this. If this had happened in season one or even season two, we probably would've cheered. But in season three, we were unsettled. 

Season three has also made us like Cersei, at least a little more, if not completely. Tywin's speech last night about family had a nice transition into Cersei's explanation of Joffrey. She's gone from evil bitch to being a woman whom we have a lot of sympathy for. Her deceased husband always loved another woman (a Stark for that matter), her son is a detestable monster, and she's slowly losing what little power she has left. 

Despite Twyin's hand in the Red Wedding, we are starting to understand and respect the Lannisters more and more. At some point you have to admire what Tywin is willing to do for his family. It was alluded last night, that he sat out Robert (Baratheon)'s Rebellion against the Mad King and waited to align with the winning side. As much as I love the Staks, there's no denying that the Lannisters are ahead of the game and are brilliantly executing everything they do. 

All in all, Season Three was magnificent. Even better, I still don't think the series has peaked. The show gets more and more popular each season and with more money, they are going to continue to go above and beyond anything we've ever seen on television. 

Season 4 Predictions still to come.